(Wisdom Wednesday) But Words Will Never Hurt Me?
You may have heard the phrase, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” If we are honest with ourselves, this statement is clearly false. Words do not directly cause physical damage, but they can definitely hurt us. Sometimes when someone says something that hurts it can lead us to dwell on it, lose sleep over it, worry about it, or even become depressed. Words can also tear apart relationships and sow discord in the workplace, in churches, and amongst friends. Proverbs 12:18 says “The words of the reckless pierce like swords.” Swords hurt people… and so can our words.
There are at least two ways our words can hurt others. First, we can directly say something to hurt someone. Sometimes in the rush of emotions, we say things that we don’t really mean. Or maybe we say something that we do mean, but say it in a way that we shouldn’t. We all have stories where we have either seen or committed one of those two things. Another way we can hurt others with our words is when we say something about someone behind their back and the comment makes it back to them. This is possibly even more dangerous than the first way because sometimes by the time the news makes it back to the person, it has been expanded and exaggerated as it has been passed along from person to person.
My encouragement for you today is just to be careful what you say. We have all known people who have had long lasting friendships that were torn apart by harsh words. We all know marriages that began in happiness, but were destroyed by the progression of negativity over time. Maybe you said something you shouldn’t have said to someone or about someone. You can’t take it back, but you can apologize and hopefully they will forgive you. In Ephesians 4:29, Paul says “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
So we should build others up instead of tearing them down… Sometimes we need to confront another person when we are wronged, but we need to do so with grace and forgiveness. A while back I posted about how to deal with those sorts of conversations here. When talking with others, only say things about a person that you don’t mind them finding out about. It is likely that they will find out anyways, and it is better that they hear it from your own mouth rather than the exaggerated words of those who passed it along. “The words of the reckless pierce like swords,” and the rest of the proverb says “but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Let’s speak wise words of healing to one another… not words of destruction.
